Methods

If anyone else wants to help me or wants to try this fun social experiment, here are some principles that will help you get the most of the "P-button."

Check out the bar first and see what kind of Juke they have. Many bars have internet jukeboxes, which I despise for reasons I will address in a future post. Some bars have no jukebox, and the bartender acts as DJ, this is an authoritarian method of music that sort of makes sense in a space where the bartender is judge, jury and has the ability to cut you off. Sometimes the DJ is an independent entity, who will take requests in theory, but generally politely tell you to shove them. The best way to ensure a egalitarian (although slightly economically determined) method of music selection is the old fashioned analog jukebox, and the P-button is a window into the clientèle.

There are ways to spot the kind of bars that will have analog jukeboxes:

Dives, western themed bars, un-themed generic bars, punk-clubs, college bars, and pubs will generally have jukeboxes and are worth checking.

Clubs, bars with lines out the doors, bars with dance-floors, large multi-story bars, hipster fashion district bars, music venues, cocktail lounges, sports bars, and gentlemen's clubs wont have jukeboxes with rare exceptions.

The P-button and the selections available give you a window into what kind of people run, work at and patronize the bar. If the selections bother you, it may not be your bar. Always check the juke before buying a drink in a strange bar. If you like the selections, then check the P-button, you can see what comes up usually without any quarters, or even if you have to put money in, it will come up as it's selected, so you can use that to help determine if it's worth investing in a drink. If the selections available are a window into what the bar wants to be the P-button is a window into what it actually is. Sometimes bars have great selections, but often the P-button is a fairly banal choice among them. This shouldn't be too discouraging because it is a common reality, but also bear in mind that it is generally the regulars who will come back to the same song.

Some bar patrons will return to the same song every time to set a mood that they want, or to engage their fellow drinkers in a sing-a-long. For example, many bars will invariably play Journey (usually "Don't Stop Believin') because it's cheesy, drunk idiot music that will usually get people to follow a sing-a-long. Also, its use in the final episode of "The Sopranos" makes it a jukebox favorite. Since most discriminating jukeboxes wont offer this as a selection, this trend is usually only suffered with Internet Jukeboxes. Ideally a most popular selection would be a statistical measurement of the bars musical leanings.

Sometimes the P-button is misleading though, many bars will unplug their jukeboxes at night to push out patrons after last call. Some selections will be repeated by the same trickster, or a bartender, which wont be as telling, but will still give you an idea of what kind of person would come here regularly or work. If a selection particularly baffles you, it's best to ask a bartender or someone who seems like a regular, this won't get you much information in my experience, but it's worth a shot, maybe it will lead to an experience that will enable you to form a more likely guess as to why the song was chosen.

When the most popular song plays, or any song that night for that matter, you should observe the clientèle, is one group dancing and singing? Maybe they are responsible. Are many people getting excited? Does someone crack a guilty smile? Simple observation is the easiest and perhaps most telling way of determining why this song is the most popular. If a lot of people seem to enjoy it and there isn't a specific amount of excitement from any particular person or group, then the song may actually hold statistical merit and be drawn from a fair sample of patrons.

Now is the fun part. Think about every aspect of the song: The meter, the instruments used, the cultural implications, the genre, the tonality, the length, the year it was released and think about it within the context of the selections available. Take what you can learn or know about the song and think about it within the space of the bar. How does it fit? Is it paradoxical? Does it serve a type of person? Does it serve the bar's image?

I hope some people post, or at least try this. Through appreciation and demand, we can save the CD jukebox and resist the soul-less internet based ones.